Do you remember 3rd grade Metrics?

Because I DON'T! Let's review, I DON'T DO MATH. At All.Never.Ever...Get it?

As a filthy, non-metric American I am completely handicapped in pretty much the entire rest of the world. The Italian, Aussie, and Canadian all know what's going on and I'm always in the dark. Every time I ask a question related to the temperature, distance, or weight I'm thwarted at the Metric Moat...and believe me, beyond here there be Dragons, Matey!

So, I predict that unless I repeat 3rd grade with Mrs. Jones - which won't be happening, just ask my mom about THAT one, it's really good; Metrics, along with the Dollar to Dirham conversion rate (currently 3.48) is going to be my undoing.

For example:
How hot is 47 Degrees Celcius?
How far is 70 Kilometers?
How heavy is 53 Kilograms?

For my education and now yours, let's take a stroll down Metric Lane, shall we?

Here's what "the book" says...
The metric system is used worldwide in international trade and in science.

The metric system, which is based on a system of 10, is simple. All metric units are changed like this. To change to a larger or smaller unit, you simply multiply or divide by a multiple of 10. It's easy! (SHA! RIGHT! What...pause for dramatic effect...Ever!)

The other system, the English system, is difficult to use because it's hard to convert from one unit to another.
(Uh-huh, sure...except it's the only one I know. Miles, feet, inches, pounds, fahrenheit, I get it!)

Temperature - Temperature measures the average speed of molecules in a body of matter by measuring how fast molecules are moving around in an object. The faster the molecules are moving, the hotter the object is. The slower the molecules are moving, the colder the object is.
(Okay, seriously, I probably "knew" that at one time and I'll bet my 7 year old buddy, J-man, coulda told me this, but I think the actual definition of temperature left me when all those weak brain cells died after my first kegger. But...there's more!)
Most countries measure in Celsius but the United States of America is one of the few countries to measure in Fahrenheit. The red liquid in thermometers is usually alcohol because mercury, which was used in the past, is a dangerous subtance.
(Wait...quick question for my Mom...So let me get this straight...we WEREN'T supposed to wipe up that dropped thermometer mercury with a paper towel? And again, just to clarify, I WASN'T supposed to rub it in my brother's face? Just checkin'...Okay, please continue oh great Metric Guru.)
Temperature is a measurement that is important for knowing how materials or life will respond.
47 Celcius = 117 degrees Fahrenheit (That's the current temperature here.)

Length - The meter is the standard unit and portions of that are in tens.
1 meter = 3.28083 feet
1 kilometer = 1.60934885 km (70 km is how far I drive to work every day.)

Mass - When you record mass the unit you use is grams. A medium sized leaf is about 1 gram, a potato chip 2 grams. A larger unit of mass is a kilogram. A kilogram is about the mass of a medium sized text book. You need a balance to find mass.
(Cool - I also need a good work/life balance - my HR Director even said s0 - to find life long happiness, so once I find that I think I'll be able to see how much things weigh. NICE!)
1 pound = 0.4536176 kg (Don't you worry about what 53 kilograms is! It's good enough that I know.)

Gee, that helped, didn't it? And I thought this metric thing was gonna be hard. Pardon me while I go look for something to soothe the pounding in my head.

Special Geek Note: In case you forget any of the valuable information I've given you today, just go here for all your Metric conversion needs: http://library.thinkquest.org/3804/

I'll just go back to jumping off stuff and taking pictures of funny signs now, thanks.