Get your kicks on Route 66

No matter where you go, there you are. -- Deep huh? Yeah, deep like Jack Handy.

Speaking of Deep Thoughts...I had a funny realization driving to work today. I was driving on Route 66...OMG! I know that "technically" the Route 66 highway used to run across the US, going from Chicago to LA, but there I was...and I have pictures, so you can't argue.

Like I've said before, driving a car here in Dubai is a mixture between Formula 1 racing and Bumper Cars. Signals are considered a sign of weakness and people driving the speed limit are newbies. This is problematic because our hamster powered Mazda rental car comes with a "feature" to let us know we are exceeding the 120 km (80 mph) speed limit - it's a little alarm that sounds a lot like that heart monitor sound you always hear on TV shows.

Beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.

In the spirit of "making our own fun," my coworkers and I have invented a game. It is now our sole mission in life to see how long we can make the car/heart monitor go off on our 30 minute ride to work...or anywhere really. The current record holder is the Italian Stallion with 12 minutes and when the beeping finally stopped, it felt like we might all be having a collective heart attack.

"We've lost the pulse, prep the paddles...CLEAR!"

So there it is folks, in the land of turn left to go right, no maps, parking by braille, and driving the "Dubai Way" -- you bet we've all been getting our kicks on Route 66!

Yes Virgina, there is a Harley Claus

Granted...it took me a couple weeks longer to find the Harley store than to find Ski Dubai, but I don't RIDE a Harley, so yer lucky I got there at all...so there...neener, neener.

Historical Note: Harley- Davidson of U.A.E was established in 1989 in a small hangar at Abu Dhabi International Airport. The company has grown tremendously in the past 11 years to become the leading Harley-Davidson dealership in the Middle East, with two locations in the U.A.E. One of the largest exclusive Harley-Davidson stores outside of the United States is located on Sheikh Zayed Road in Dubai. (That's where I went.) It offers a full line of motorcycles, spare parts, accessories and high quality lines of Harley-Davidson clothing.

As those of us in the motorcycle community fondly say, "H-D doesn't stand for Harley-Davidson, it stands for Hundred Dollars!" I'm here to tell you the joke still stands here in the UAE. I just dropped 600 Dirhams in that stinkin' place... and let's review... I DON'T RIDE A HARLEY!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Ah...but a lucky few will have a fine gift coming to them when I get home. Hmmm...who should it be??? Operators are standing by to take your bribes, begs, and pleas.

Hot enough for ya?

I'm getting updates from the folks at home that it's starting to act like summer. Tornadoes, Fires, and High Temps, oh my! I hope everyone is staying safe and cool, while we send good vibes out to those we know who are in the path of flames.

Here's the current temp for me.

Oh, and on the Arabian Gulf there's no such thing as a "dry heat."

I'm not a Project Manager, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

For those who have the inside track for the project I'm here working on, the title is funny...trust me. ;-)

For those who could care less, here's what our HI Express sign looks like.

Enjoy!

Rage for the machine

I'm sure this isn't just a UAE thing, but it's the first time I've noticed that there's a machine for EVERYTHING! For example, in the women's room at the office there are 7 machines alone, plus a toilet that will flush in a variety of different ways...not kidding. Would you like proof of my case?

Women's Restroom:

• Water wand - For washing your "delicates" after your bathroom business
• Motion sensor waste can for sanitary items - I guess opening a lid would be too much trouble...better make it open everytime you move, think of moving, or look in the general direction of the sensor
• Motion sensor soap dispenser, water faucet and hand dryer -To which I'm apparently invisible, maybe they should be networked to the waste basket by the toilet?
• Hand towel dispenser machine - ...with TIMER, so you can only use the towel length for 30 seconds, then it gets sucked back in.

My Hotel:

• Master light switch console - None of the room lights turn on until you put your room keycard into it. (This is a good one, it's been a whole week and I haven't lost my card yet, that's a record for me!)
• Shoe shine machine - To keep the desert sand from soiling your Liz Claiborne's
• Keycard readers - Although common, here's the twist...you just need to have the card on you somewhere. The receivers are set to find them without getting it out of your pocket or doing the ID Badge Butt Dance...for a more visual explanation please see Doug W.

On the "Mean Streets" of Dubai:

• Camel Jockeys - I did not make this one up! Camel races feature robots at the reins. Workers fix robotic jockeys on the backs of the camels and race them around a track. Operators control the jockeys remotely, signaling them to pull their reins and prod the camels with whips. This feat of technology is a development in human rights. Racing-camel owners in many Persian Gulf countries traditionally used children as jockeys, sometimes as young as four years old. Faced with pressure from human rights groups, they banned child jockeys and looked to technology to keep the races running.
• Traffic Tickets - To answer the obvious question, NO...I haven't gotten one. But, if I did I can pay for it directly from an ATM or one of the many Police Kiosks located around the city to make it "easy and fun!" (That's a direct quote from the Gulf News this morning.) Not too sure I'd agree that paying a traffic fine is "fun" but whatever. :-)

What fun "machines" have you seen in your travels?

Sunday...it's the new Monday

If pink is the "new" black, then living here in Dubai makes Sunday the "new" Monday. Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?!

Try to stay with me cuz this ride could get bumpy. The UAE is a Muslim country. In Islam the holy day (our Sunday) falls on Friday, making Thursday the last working day of the week (our Friday). The average work week is 6 days a week, 48 hours per work week.

Most folks only get the holy day off, lots of stores are closed and there's very little activity around town in general. Think back to small town living when everything, including the gas station and grocery store is closed on Sunday. Being a Western contractor, I have a standard 2 day weekend of Friday and Saturday. Got it? Good.

This whole work week shift weirds me out because now the first day of my work week is Sunday. Sunday...really?! The day I hang out in my pj's, watch movies, kayak, go on motorcycle rides and consider it a success if I actually remember to shower?

I know what you're thinking people...yer thinkin, "Suck it up Trixy, how big a difference could it be? You still get two days off, what's the problem?" Ohhhhhhhh...it's a problem alright. Lemme 'esplain it to you Lucy...

I worked on the 4th floor of our office building for 2 years and we've been on the 3rd floor for 4 years. Who still hits the 4 button in the elevator??? Yup, it's me...and that's just a stupid elevator. Now try having the weekend you've had for 35 years just change cuz you got on an airplane. Ugh!

So, now I'm living in fear for the day I forget to set the alarm to wake me...for my coworkers to be knocking on my door saying, "Dude, get UP!" I just know it's gonna happen because Sunday is the new Monday.

Toto, we're not in Colorado anymore.

Here's what Google looks like when I want to look something up. Neat huh?

I think the Arabic language when it's written out is pure art. Something that's been put up everywhere to remind us of where we are and the culture we are being welcomed into for as long as we choose to stay.

Since there's nothing in this language that looks similar to our alphabet I have no markers to tell me it's anything other than beautiful.

A sign of the apocolypse?

I saw this on my way into the Mall of the Emirates.

A Starbucks with a Lambourghini valet parked out front. What you don't see is the other orange Lambourghini parked behind it and the poor little Mercedes in the back. For those who think $5 coffee is already ridiculous, this is a sure signal for the beginning of the End Times.

And for me, just the usual...one venti caramel latte, extra hot, with whip please.

Couldn't wait for the Foursome

Ski Dubai is MINE!

For those who know me, it's understood what a hurculean feat I accomplished by not knocking over every person in my path from the airport straight to the indoor ski slopes. Instead I managed to make it FOUR WHOLE DAYS before I stopped "waiting for the foursome."

You see I'm working with a group...a group of guys who are not from the US, which means that Futbol, a.k.a. Soccer, is a religion and the Euro Cup tournament is happening right now. More importantly, the match between Italy and France for who gets to advance to the next tourney level was last night. Who do you root for Taunya? Um, yeah...about that...whatever makes you happy Luigi. So, I chose to stay at the hotel last night as they happily trooped off to the bar to watch the game.

Normally we all operate under the rules of the Kindergarten buddy system. Hold hands, look both ways, don't take candy from strangers and don't go to strange places alone. As I walked into my room I saw my boarding gear and thought to myself, "What the hell are you doing here?!" Having no good answer, I put on my layers, grabbed my gear bag and hailed a cab to the mall.

Shall I discuss the looks that a single white girl gets when she walks through an Arab country's largest mall, dressed in workout clothes plus hoodie and carrying snow gear? I think we all get the picture. There were looks, there were eyebrows, there were side glances at friends. I didn't care...I was on a MISSION to check something off my life list!

Was Ski Dubai all I thought it would be? YUP! Unlike most things you build up in your head that turn out to be disappointing, the UAE is good...REALLY good at building "big." Think Texas on steroids with 100 times the money to throw at any problem or challenge. Of the 5 runs, 2 were legitimate runs for a good skier/boarder. There's a 3 minute ride to the top, and about 45 seconds to a minute down.

All in all...I was boarding for 2 hours, did 24 runs with jumps, there was NO (do you hear that Colorado?!) lift line, and I was the only one on my chairlift seat almost everytime. Oh, and for the first time in almost a week I wasn't hot.

Pure snow bliss.

The Bubble

I’ve been in Dubai for 5 days and I’m starting to see and experience “The Desert Bubble.” As a contractor here you are considered a living and working at a level WAY beyond what the normal worker is experiencing, especially since we are here to work with an international resort company who specializes in catering to 5-star clientele. Lots of people talk about the double trap that exists here.

As an upper-level worker here, your company will pay you a competitive salary (TAX FREE), give you housing, housekeeping staff, personal property guard, etc. for you and your family, plus a company car. Also, you are entitled to be flown to your home country to visit once a year on the company dime. All of this is meant to draw the cream of the crop to work and live here in the desert and it’s very attractive to a lot of people because they see the dollar signs and possibility for huge money saving, early retirement, etc... I know I do!

Now here’s the rub…so you get here and start living this awesome Bubble Life where you are now a Baby Sheik in a Big Sheik pond. You’re making money (saving butt loads of cash), not being taxed, have a gardener, housekeeper, cook and guard. Do you really want to give that up when your contract expires? Do you really want to come back to the US and do your own laundry, weed your garden, shop for groceries and cook dinner every night?

Flip side? As a lower-level worker, there are NO employment laws, unions, or employee protection. There is no minimum wage, no maximum shift time. Companies as common practice “hold” their workers’ passport and visa paperwork, working them at double shifts regularly, using minimal safety precautions in construction zones. From a historical perspective, as I drive home to the hotel, I see thousands of Indian workers putting up, literally, the tallest buildings in the world (in weather that’s always over 100 degrees with 70% humidity). This is a live version of the ultimate empire building process.

Welcome to the new pyramids my friends, would you like a strawberry daiquiri?

Arrived without an "international incident"

I left Denver a mere 26 hours ago and now I am blogging to you from my swank accomodations here in Dubai. As (literally) the only white female travelling alone, I instantly became the "little sister" to every former military turned government contractor on the plane. Those southern boys made sure I had my food first, water first, and got to the bathroom first...I could get used to that treatment!

When I arrived at the Dubai airport everything was very clearly labeled and I sailed through customs and I got my very first stamp in my shiney passport. YIPPEE!!

So, to all back home...I've arrived safe, sound, and sleepy. It's 3 am here and I'm going to bed.

G'nite!

Dubai - an architect's dream

I found a website today that I think will help everybody see just how much Dubai has grown since 1990, when the UAE stopped focusing on oil income for their country and started their march toward Total Tourist Domination! There is no doubt in my mind why every architect I've talked to says that Dubai is THE city to build in.

Check it out! http://www.dubai-architecture.info/DUB-GAL1.htm

Everything I know about Dubai I learned from the Internet

Before I’ve even set foot on UAE soil, I have found out this much from my good friend, Google:

Drugs are Bad, Um…’K? – There is a 27 page list of all banned drugs in the UAE, on it are such things like Tylenol, all cold medicines, Prozac, and that little blue pill all the boys like to take. If you have so much as 3 poppy seeds on your person upon entry at the Dubai airport, you will be immediately sentenced to 4 years in prison…their prison, not ours.

Being left-handed is going to suck – I guess that’s my “bathroom business” hand in the Middle East, so I am encouraged not to use it for greetings (waving), touching, or eating. Since I do ALL of those things with my left hand, this should be fun!

BYOT - Speaking of bathroom business, I've been encouraged by both The Internet and some international traveller friends to bring my own toilet paper. Apparently, it's not always the "norm" to have it available and they charge you money per square to have it provided. YOWZA!

Being a woman doesn’t suck…as much - Contrary to popular belief, I don’t have to cover up in anything like a hijab or burka, so far I only have to cover my head if I go to the National Museum or the Great Mosque…and also long skirts are recommended to show respect at these places, but not required.

Hide the soles of your feet – I will need to remember that sitting with the soles of my feet showing is a universal insult. Something akin to telling people they are no better than the dirt on my shoes. Good note to self.

Yes, there IS a Holiday Inn Express, Dubai edition – And I’m going to see it first hand.

Israel does not exist – If you have so much as a stamp in your US passport that says you’ve been to Israel, you are not admitted into the country. Can’t we all just get along?

Buying gold at the Gold Souk is AWESOME! – You only pay for it by weight, instead of all the other artistry fees, taxes, etc. and bargaining is expected.

I leave on Thursday to start my adventure, so I guess we'll all see what turns out to be true and what's just Internet Hooey!

Where the heck is Dubai?

I got this question after one of my posts and since I literally didn't know where on Earth Dubai was until I signed up to go, lemme e'splain it to you Lucy.

Dubai is situated on the Persian Gulf coast in the northwest of the United Arab Emirates. The city is the capital of the emirate of the same name and is sometimes referred to as Dubai City. Dubai has the largest population and is the second largest emirate by area, after Abu Dhabi. The Dubai emirate covers around 3,900 sq km, while the city itself is roughly 35 sq km.

Dubai shares borders with Abu Dhabi in the south, Sharjah in the northeast, and the Sultanate of Oman in the southeast.

Dubai Creek, a natural inlet from the Gulf, divides the city in two. It runs northeast-southwest through the city. The eastern section of the city forms the locality of Deira and is flanked by the emirate of Sharjah in the east and the town of Al Aweer in the south.

Climate - Dubai has a sub-tropical, arid climate. Rainfall is infrequent and irregular. Between November and March, Dubai weather is warm and sunny without being unbearably hot. Winter temperatures are around 23 degrees C in the daytime, while nights are cooler.

Local time - Dubai Time is + 4 Hours GMT

Language - The official language is Arabic, Arabic and English are commonly used in business and commerce. Hindi and Urdu are also widely used.

And that is your geography lesson for the day.

Where, oh WHERE will I get good BBQ?!

Why on the desert 4x4 tour, you big sillyhead!

My coworker and buddy in this adventure, NH, just emailed one of the "extracurricular" activities we will be trying:

The ultimate Arabian Desert Wonder Safari with your own private 4x4 vehicle!

WOO HOO! And for only $75 US Dollars I don't think I can pass it up! Here's the summary:

Depart Dubai in the afternoon and take a thrilling sand dune drive to your first destination, the camel farm. The drive continues across the desert where you will witness a beautiful desert sunset. This is one of the highlights of a trip to the Arabian deserts. Prepare to be amazed!

Upon arrival at the campsite, you will have the opportunity to ride a camel, go sandboarding and try out a henna design on your hands or feet.

Next, enjoy a delicious BBQ dinner and a shisha (the famous Arabic water pipe). The evening includes a belly dancer performing her show around the campfire by starlight.

Now I hate to say this, but isn't there an obvious question here? If we are stopping at a Camel Farm...AND there's a BBQ...what do you suppose will be the meat under that sauce? We shall see.

What are you talking about? There's no snow in the desert!

Oh, but I beg to differ my friends! As many of us say in any given week, "Hey guys, I saw the coolest thing on the Discovery Channel last night." That is where I found this...

"Ski Dubai is a winter wonderland in the desert. Located in the sun-baked desert emirate of Dubai, the cavernous 32,290-square-foot indoor ski resort counts five downhill ski runs varying in difficulty (the longest is 1,312 feet with a 196.85 foot fall), a cross-country trail, a 295.2-foot quarter-pipe for snowboarders, and, of course, a chairlift.

Located next to the Mall of the Emirates, the $275 million winter wonderland also boasts the world's largest indoor snow park. At 9,842 square feet, it offers tobogganing hills, a twin track bobsled ride, a snowball throwing gallery, and a snow cavern.

While the exterior temperature in Dubai ranges from 60 to 135 degrees Fahrenheit, the ski area remains a constant 28 degrees. The entire structure is designed as a capacious cold box. The walls have several layers of insulation and 23 blast coolers. Two feet of snow pack lies underneath a layer of fresh powder that is replenished every night by mimicking mother nature: Chemical-free water is put into a specially designed chiller, sent through pipes into snow guns, and blown out into the freezing cold environment which crystallizes into snow."

Granted, as a Colorado season ski pass holder, it seems ridiculous to pack up my Burton gear and fly to a place whose average temp in June and July is 130 degrees (Yes - the temperature you smoke meat at) to strap on a board. And YES, my friends are laughing and pointing at me but I'm going!

I'm going and it's gonna be cool...cool like The Fonz, like things that glow in the dark, like BLUE FOOD...oh yeah, it's gonna be cool like that!

wanna see more? go to: http://www.skidubai.com/

How it began...

So, on May 6, 2008 I get this email surprise in my In Box:
Hi T,

We have a project coming up in June for a client of ours in Dubai. At this point I am not sure who we will be sending but I am trying to get an idea of who would like to go and who is not interested. Whoever does go will need to be there for a month. Let me know.

The Boss

Hmmmmmmmmm...now what does a little Iowa farm girl that's never been out of the country (but is still trying to be a professional), say to this kind of inquiry? She says this...

Snowboarding in Dubai...I'm IN!!!

I didn't say I ACHIEVED coming across as a professional, I just said I was trying.

And so, that is how my trip came to be...