Culture Shock

Ever since I arrived in the Emirates people have been asking me questions like; “How’s the culture? Are you homesick? Do people talk to you?”

After several weeks of living and working in Dubai, I must admit I’ve gotten spoiled. You see, this is a Courtesy Culture. A society built on making others feel welcome and content to be here. Where the rule of thumb is, “Always smile and never say No.”

For example: Every morning at the continental breakfast at least 3 hotel employees greet me by name. At the hotel restaurant, the greeter, waitress, manager, and bar staff all welcome me back…it’s like being Norm from Cheers. I don’t have to order, they just bring me what they know I like.

However, today I had a full-frontal attack of Culture Shock, but not in the way you’d think...I got “Identity Thefted.”

Here’s how it happened: I went online to do some general “life maintenance.” When I opened my online bank statement, I was surprised to find several pending withdrawals from my account totaling about $1500.00. Um…WHAT?!...there’s only about 3 days a month I even HAVE that much in my account!

Who would do this kind of dastardly deed? Some sneaky street vendor from the Souk? A dirty dealing, underpaid restaurant worker? That guy who stood WAY to close to me at the ATM last time?

If you guessed any of these…the answer is, NO! Further investigation led me straight to PayPal. Yeah, PayPal in the…United States. To add insult to injury, I can’t take care of any of this online…I have to call the bank…to keep my information secure. REALLY?! Did you just tell me that after I see $1500.00 wooshing out of my account?

Calling the Bank…
Bank: Hello this is X, can I help you?
Me: Hi, X, I sure hope so. I’m in a bit of a jam here. You see I’m calling you from overseas and I’ve found some unusual activity on my account back in the US. Can we look over that please?
Bank: Okay, let me put you on hold while I access your account.
Me: Oh wait, don’t put me on hold, this is an expensive call…crap, hold music.
wait for 2 minutes and jam to Girl from Ipineema
Bank: Yeah, there are several withdrawals, what do you want me to do about it?
Me: I’m not even in the US to be making those withdrawals, can you please cancel them?
Bank: Well I guess so, but you also need to freeze this account and come into a branch to open a new one. Do you want me to cancel your card too?
Me: No, no, no…you can’t freeze my account, I’m overseas in Dubai.
Bank: Doo Bay, isn’t that in Minnesota? We have branches in Minnesota. I’ll just go ahead and cancel your card.
Me: No, I said NO, you can’t freeze or cancel anything. I’ll have no access to my money.
Bank: Well Ma’am, I just don’t know what you want from me.
Me: I want your manager…Now.
Bank: More hold music…DAMMIT!
wait for 3 minutes and jam again...
Bank Manager: Hello Ma’am, X here has told me you need assistance in freezing your account? How can I help you?
Me: ARGH, wimper…no I don’t need that. Please just cancel the last $1500 in withdrawals.
Bank Manager: That’s a rather large amount to reverse, could you perhaps be a victim of identity theft? Because our usual protocol is to… (and I hang up)

We all know that getting financial matters straightened out with a bank is annoying at best. Now let’s throw in the added fun of being overseas where any phone call is $2.30 a MINUTE! Only to be told by the surly AMERICAN call center woman that my only option is to freeze my account. Oh…I don’t think so. Now it’s time to call PayPal…

I’m sure you get the picture. The good news is after almost $100 in phone charges my bank account is fine, the PayPal account I’d forgotten I even had is cancelled, and all is well.

However, after being jolted out of my Doo Bay happy place and being reminded of what “customer service” means back home, I can say with absolute certainty that I’m going up to the place (where everybody knows my name) to recover from my serving of “good ole U - S of A” culture shock. UGH!