Seven HUNDRED Dollars?!

After five weeks “in country” there has been so much to see and do and buy that I just couldn’t help myself from shopping for all my (and other people’s Harley-related) Christmas gifts while I’m here. I mean really…who could possibly pass up that fuzzy camel wearing pink lipstick?!

That being said, it will come as no surprise that I have bought too much stuff! So now I’m faced with some choices…how do you like choices, Taunya? Hmmm…at this point I don’t like them much at all.

Being the smarty pants that I am I thought, “Hey, no big deal. I’ll just ship a box or two home and save myself the trouble.” For those who have not traveled abroad, please take this opportunity to learn from my naiveté.

Picture, if you will, happy little Taunya, executing Plan A – Ship Stuff Home. Packing up her 2 boxes and heading out to find a UPS or FedEx. Doo-dee-doo…Taunya walks into FedEx and sets the boxes on the scale, hands over her corporate shipping ID and awaits the total.

Two boxes…10 kilograms…$700…quick head-snap to look the clerk in the eye because by now I am SURE that it was because we may not speak the same language.

“Um, excuse me? You mean Dirhams, right?” Taunya says expecting the common misunderstanding.

“No Miss…Dollars, American Dollars…Seven Hundred.”

Whoa. Yeah…not happening…moving to Plan B - back in the car to see what UPS has to say.

“Hi there nice UPS lady. I’d like to ship these two small boxes to Colorado, USA please.”

“Absolutely, ma’am…that will be $630.”

UGH!

Now I am forced to create a Plan C, which is not something I am used to doing as a card carrying member of Advanced Planners Anonymous.

This is where my Canadian colleague comes to the rescue! Men…they have a different approach to travel that normally includes “packing” the equivalent of the clothes they are wearing and (if you’re lucky) a toothbrush. Because Captain Canada is this type of male, he has kindly offered to schlep a bag on his flight to the US and then ship it to me for the proper price of $20 MAX!

WHEW! Now all I have to do is buy an entire new suitcase to put it all in…excellent…another trip to the mall for me!

Go for the GOLD!

This is just a quick shout out to all my co-workers back in Colorado Springs who are participating in a fun work activity this week...the Office Olympics started today, complete with opening ceremonies...which I heard were a rousing success!

Events include the floppy discus toss, paper clip doubles, airplane throw, chair rowing, wastebasketball, yoga ball bouncing, marker archery, and paper cup stacking and water relay.

Hip, Hip, HURRAH for the "office athletes" who are making their own fun and good luck to you all! Wish I could be there to see it in person, but I'll take any pictures you care to send my way.

By the Numbers

Contrary to popular belief I have been sent to Dubai to do something other than shop, tour museums, snowboard, become a dunebuggy ace, ride dolphins, etc. This thing I'm doing in between fun is called...WORK.

Here's a By the Numbers snapshot of what will be accomplished for our client by the time the "training team"(read: me & the Canadian)finishes our 6 week tour.

2 custom interactive training programs produced
1 online help system created
350 page manager training guide written
60 page staff training guide written
83 separate topics covered
15 classroom classes taught (put on that Colgate smile!)
250 students trained

So there it is...that's what I do while I'm thinking of the next thing to blog about. :-)Hope everyone's having a great week!

DOLPHINS!!!

For those of you who were sick of me doing sand-related activities. How do you feel about swimming with dolphins?

Well, I LOVED IT!!! Bet you couldn't tell from the giant smile I have pasted all over my face in these pictures, huh?!

The Dubai Dolphinarium (yeah...I'm not sure if it's really a word either...) opened just over a month ago. In addition to the usual Sea World-type shows with seals and dolphins, they have a "swim with dolphins" program too. When I read about this in my new weekly cultural happenings bible, "Time Out - Dubai edition" I jumped on the phone and scheduled a time slot.

There were two options for swimming:
1) Private - SPENDY at 1500 Dirhams per person
2) Mixed Group - a bargain at 350 Dirhams per person

What I've learned...if you are here in the hottest months of the year, i.e., June, July, August sign up for the group cuz more likely than not you're gonna be the only one crazy enough to be in the city.

The Canadian and I showed up for our allotted group time expecting to be able to maybe touch a dolphin. Instead our group consisted of 3 adults and one little kid. As soon as we were in our swim suits the trainer said "Hop IN!"

Ya don't have to tell me twice...into the water I went...and didn't come out for 1/2 an hour! These three dolphins were the biggest sweeties I've ever seen. We got to pet them, do handshakes, ride them and rub their tummies (which they love, just like dogs!). One of them kept "sneaking" up on me (see the pic on the right above) and bumping me with her nose so I would swim with her.

As further proof that (like Colorado) nobody's actually FROM here...the dolphins and their trainer are originally from the Ukraine and were transferred from a resort that closed.

Now I have 3 major events checked off the Life List and I've still got 2 more weeks to go. I think we're all wondering the same question...what's next?

Let’s go to the Mall!

In Dubai, shopping is the National Sport. There’s even an entire month dedicated to consumerism, called “The Dubai Shopping Festival.” In the UAE, you can’t swing a dead sand cat without hitting a shopping area. Currently Mall of the Emirates is the 3rd largest mall in the world, and when the currently under construction Dubai Mall opens it's doors, it will be the Mothership...the Largest in the World!

Back home, I am not really a “mall person” so at first I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. But as much as I fought it, I’m starting to prefer malls to the traditional Souks (vendor street markets). It seems Robin Sparkles sang it best, “the mall is where it’s at.”

Here’s my list of why I go to the mall:

* Air Conditioning
* Ski Dubai – for ultra air conditioning
* Great food – and not that craptastic food court stuff either! We’re talking REALLY good food... in REALLY nice restaurants from all over the world. I even happened upon an Iron Chef contest hosted by the National Culinary Association in the main area of a mall.
* Pharmacy – for all my après boarding needs, like Advil.
* Ski Dubai
* The Ice Bar - cool enough to induce it's own ice cream headache.

* Starbucks/Caribou Coffee – yes, they both have stores here.
* Ski Dubai
* Movie theatres - with actual movies that are releasing at the same time as in the US.
* Ski Dubai
* People watching – We’re talking all different cultures with people dressed like Baywatch bikini girls all the way to full on Islamic Burka coverups.

Oh, and did I mention this cute little place called Ski Dubai? So anytime you want to join me, let’s meet at the Mall!

That’ll be 20 Dirhams even.

I love living the tax free life!

You may not know this, but there are no taxes in the UAE. None, nada, ziltch! If you work for a company here, you make what they say you make. When you go shopping, the tag IS the price. Even the restaurants include all the municipality fees and service charges (i.e., waiter/waitress tips).

It’s perfect for me. There are no surprises at the counter for not being able to do math. Well, except for the exchange rate, UGH! Now let’s see…is that multiply or divide by 3.48? Crap!

Okay, well obviously there’s still work to do, but I’ll leave it up to Visa.

Culture Shock

Ever since I arrived in the Emirates people have been asking me questions like; “How’s the culture? Are you homesick? Do people talk to you?”

After several weeks of living and working in Dubai, I must admit I’ve gotten spoiled. You see, this is a Courtesy Culture. A society built on making others feel welcome and content to be here. Where the rule of thumb is, “Always smile and never say No.”

For example: Every morning at the continental breakfast at least 3 hotel employees greet me by name. At the hotel restaurant, the greeter, waitress, manager, and bar staff all welcome me back…it’s like being Norm from Cheers. I don’t have to order, they just bring me what they know I like.

However, today I had a full-frontal attack of Culture Shock, but not in the way you’d think...I got “Identity Thefted.”

Here’s how it happened: I went online to do some general “life maintenance.” When I opened my online bank statement, I was surprised to find several pending withdrawals from my account totaling about $1500.00. Um…WHAT?!...there’s only about 3 days a month I even HAVE that much in my account!

Who would do this kind of dastardly deed? Some sneaky street vendor from the Souk? A dirty dealing, underpaid restaurant worker? That guy who stood WAY to close to me at the ATM last time?

If you guessed any of these…the answer is, NO! Further investigation led me straight to PayPal. Yeah, PayPal in the…United States. To add insult to injury, I can’t take care of any of this online…I have to call the bank…to keep my information secure. REALLY?! Did you just tell me that after I see $1500.00 wooshing out of my account?

Calling the Bank…
Bank: Hello this is X, can I help you?
Me: Hi, X, I sure hope so. I’m in a bit of a jam here. You see I’m calling you from overseas and I’ve found some unusual activity on my account back in the US. Can we look over that please?
Bank: Okay, let me put you on hold while I access your account.
Me: Oh wait, don’t put me on hold, this is an expensive call…crap, hold music.
wait for 2 minutes and jam to Girl from Ipineema
Bank: Yeah, there are several withdrawals, what do you want me to do about it?
Me: I’m not even in the US to be making those withdrawals, can you please cancel them?
Bank: Well I guess so, but you also need to freeze this account and come into a branch to open a new one. Do you want me to cancel your card too?
Me: No, no, no…you can’t freeze my account, I’m overseas in Dubai.
Bank: Doo Bay, isn’t that in Minnesota? We have branches in Minnesota. I’ll just go ahead and cancel your card.
Me: No, I said NO, you can’t freeze or cancel anything. I’ll have no access to my money.
Bank: Well Ma’am, I just don’t know what you want from me.
Me: I want your manager…Now.
Bank: More hold music…DAMMIT!
wait for 3 minutes and jam again...
Bank Manager: Hello Ma’am, X here has told me you need assistance in freezing your account? How can I help you?
Me: ARGH, wimper…no I don’t need that. Please just cancel the last $1500 in withdrawals.
Bank Manager: That’s a rather large amount to reverse, could you perhaps be a victim of identity theft? Because our usual protocol is to… (and I hang up)

We all know that getting financial matters straightened out with a bank is annoying at best. Now let’s throw in the added fun of being overseas where any phone call is $2.30 a MINUTE! Only to be told by the surly AMERICAN call center woman that my only option is to freeze my account. Oh…I don’t think so. Now it’s time to call PayPal…

I’m sure you get the picture. The good news is after almost $100 in phone charges my bank account is fine, the PayPal account I’d forgotten I even had is cancelled, and all is well.

However, after being jolted out of my Doo Bay happy place and being reminded of what “customer service” means back home, I can say with absolute certainty that I’m going up to the place (where everybody knows my name) to recover from my serving of “good ole U - S of A” culture shock. UGH!