Culture Shock

Ever since I arrived in the Emirates people have been asking me questions like; “How’s the culture? Are you homesick? Do people talk to you?”

After several weeks of living and working in Dubai, I must admit I’ve gotten spoiled. You see, this is a Courtesy Culture. A society built on making others feel welcome and content to be here. Where the rule of thumb is, “Always smile and never say No.”

For example: Every morning at the continental breakfast at least 3 hotel employees greet me by name. At the hotel restaurant, the greeter, waitress, manager, and bar staff all welcome me back…it’s like being Norm from Cheers. I don’t have to order, they just bring me what they know I like.

However, today I had a full-frontal attack of Culture Shock, but not in the way you’d think...I got “Identity Thefted.”

Here’s how it happened: I went online to do some general “life maintenance.” When I opened my online bank statement, I was surprised to find several pending withdrawals from my account totaling about $1500.00. Um…WHAT?!...there’s only about 3 days a month I even HAVE that much in my account!

Who would do this kind of dastardly deed? Some sneaky street vendor from the Souk? A dirty dealing, underpaid restaurant worker? That guy who stood WAY to close to me at the ATM last time?

If you guessed any of these…the answer is, NO! Further investigation led me straight to PayPal. Yeah, PayPal in the…United States. To add insult to injury, I can’t take care of any of this online…I have to call the bank…to keep my information secure. REALLY?! Did you just tell me that after I see $1500.00 wooshing out of my account?

Calling the Bank…
Bank: Hello this is X, can I help you?
Me: Hi, X, I sure hope so. I’m in a bit of a jam here. You see I’m calling you from overseas and I’ve found some unusual activity on my account back in the US. Can we look over that please?
Bank: Okay, let me put you on hold while I access your account.
Me: Oh wait, don’t put me on hold, this is an expensive call…crap, hold music.
wait for 2 minutes and jam to Girl from Ipineema
Bank: Yeah, there are several withdrawals, what do you want me to do about it?
Me: I’m not even in the US to be making those withdrawals, can you please cancel them?
Bank: Well I guess so, but you also need to freeze this account and come into a branch to open a new one. Do you want me to cancel your card too?
Me: No, no, no…you can’t freeze my account, I’m overseas in Dubai.
Bank: Doo Bay, isn’t that in Minnesota? We have branches in Minnesota. I’ll just go ahead and cancel your card.
Me: No, I said NO, you can’t freeze or cancel anything. I’ll have no access to my money.
Bank: Well Ma’am, I just don’t know what you want from me.
Me: I want your manager…Now.
Bank: More hold music…DAMMIT!
wait for 3 minutes and jam again...
Bank Manager: Hello Ma’am, X here has told me you need assistance in freezing your account? How can I help you?
Me: ARGH, wimper…no I don’t need that. Please just cancel the last $1500 in withdrawals.
Bank Manager: That’s a rather large amount to reverse, could you perhaps be a victim of identity theft? Because our usual protocol is to… (and I hang up)

We all know that getting financial matters straightened out with a bank is annoying at best. Now let’s throw in the added fun of being overseas where any phone call is $2.30 a MINUTE! Only to be told by the surly AMERICAN call center woman that my only option is to freeze my account. Oh…I don’t think so. Now it’s time to call PayPal…

I’m sure you get the picture. The good news is after almost $100 in phone charges my bank account is fine, the PayPal account I’d forgotten I even had is cancelled, and all is well.

However, after being jolted out of my Doo Bay happy place and being reminded of what “customer service” means back home, I can say with absolute certainty that I’m going up to the place (where everybody knows my name) to recover from my serving of “good ole U - S of A” culture shock. UGH!

Ice, Ice Baby!

With weather temps soaring into and over 120 degrees, you are foolish to think you can touch your car’s steering wheel after it’s been in the sunny parking lot all day and keep your fingertips.
Because I am that kind of fool, I have dubbed this week, “ICE WEEK.” I’m sure you’ve been able to tell from my activities lately, this city is totally prepared to keep me entertained.

In search of the elusive “cool” we went to an Ice Bar. Yup, that’s right…a whole bar for you and your friends to literally chill out at a temperature of -6 Celcius.

When you walk in, you are greeted with a coat room. Not like the ones in the States where they take your coat. In this room the GIVE you a coat…and mittens…and little booties if you’re wearing sandals without socks…tres chic!

Next, you go through a cooler door that looks just like every meat locker door you’ve seen in all those horror movies. You know the ones…those movies you’re screaming at the girl, “DON’T GO IN THERE!” Yeah that’s the door…and I even went in, without a flashlight.

Ahhh, sweet, cool air! And ice…man they aren’t kidding either. Everything was made of the stuff. Couches, chairs, lights, sculptures, plates, cups, martini glasses…the BAR and SHELVES!

We ordered our cover charge mandated 60 Dirham mocktail (remember this is a dry country in most senses of the word unless you’re at a resort hotel) and sat back on our fluffy sheepskin ice chairs. I resisted the urge to be a jackass and ask for ice in my drink and sipped the yummy strawberry juice.

After becoming comfortably numb and moving into the early stages of frostbite, we decided to return to the sauna of the real world once more. Back through the meat locker door without so much as a tongue frozen to a tether pole. The coat check girl was there to take our layers and hand out lemon scented hot towels, very nice!

So, when you’re just too hot for your own good and don’t want to hit the slopes of Ski Dubai, I’d highly recommend getting ice, iced baby!

My Sepia Day

I went out looking around took a few (hundred) pictures...what a shocker, huh? This is what the world looked like through my eyes.

* I went down an alley and thought the Mosque tower looked cool from down in between the buildings.
* The doorway is an average one for going into public buildings, but I love the detail.
* Everyone in the apartment areas hang their laundry right out their windows to dry, it's quite a site to see the entire side of a building covered in all kinds of people's clothes.
* I saw these mops just resting on a stairway as I walked by, and they reminded me of the Magician's Apprentice from Fantasia...I expected to see Mickey Mouse running to catch them at any moment.
* Windtowers are used here to get cool air into the homes. The wind hits these towers and it gets funnelled down a few stories and into the house. Very interesting engineering.

I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I liked taking them!

Best.Day.Ever...on a dune buggy

In the office this week the Canadian says to me, “How do you feel about going on a desert safari called Dune Bashing?” HAHAHAHAHA…Silly boy…

If you’re near a desert…any desert…and they have dune buggies, not Range Rovers, not Quad Runners, but dune buggies; you MUST do it! Forget about letting some tour guide do all the driving and hog all the fun. Take the wheel, give it some gas and forget there’s even a brake!

There’s no feeling that compares to zooming along the top of a 100 ft dune at 40 mph then looking WAY down and going for the drop-in over the edge.

All of a sudden you’re on 2 wheels instead of 4, your ass is in the air, and you’re thanking Allah for the 4 point harness and helmet. WOO HOO - Now that’s what I call fun!

Before I talk more about my super awesome day, I have to take a moment and thank 181. I am deeply appreciative for all the sand vs. mud tutorials, teaching me about rear steering, and all the track lessons in general because…not only did I know how to find my lines, but I always gave it WAY more gas than I wanted and made every jump. In fact, toward the end of our 2 hour tour, I had to keep reminding myself that this was NOT a track and I was NOT supposed to pass the leader!

As with all activities that require a helmet, we had a safety talk…
Rule #1: Here’s the gas pedal, here’s the brake pedal. That thing in front of you, that's the steering wheel. Use them.
Rule #2: No matter how much fun you’re having, keep your mouth shut. It’ll fill with sand as soon as you clear the first jump and you’ll be chewing rocks the rest of the day.
Rule #3: If you get stuck or hit something, wait for the support vehicle.
Rule #4: Don’t hit the camels…or the goats.

Are we all clear on the rules? Good, but don’t worry, this stuff hardly ever happens.

Here are some of the play-by-play highlights:

After about 10 minutes of warm-up driving, we hit our first big drop. As I was flying over a blind drop-off I squealed with delight…wrong move…I was in BLATANT violation of Rule #2. They were right, that sand gets in the darnedest places.

The Canadian lost his line, fishtailed for a bit, hit a couple bushes and had to be towed back onto safe ground, but he soon caught up with us so it was all good. (Rule #3, check!)

Next, we popped over a dune jump to find…you guessed it…CAMELS! There were 7 to 10 of them, right there in the middle of friggin’ nowhere and right on the path.

In fact, they took great exception to us thinking it was our path and started huffing and grunting at us. We followed them for a bit and then our leader passed the herd. I was next and made it past 4 of them with 3 to go, but then I heard a big bellow and the bull I just passed started to charge me. That’s right, I got camel blocked! So, I raced alongside him for a bit and chose another line off the path to get around them. (Rule #4, harder than I thought!)

When we all pulled back into the garage our guide paid me the highest honor he could by saying, with both thumbs up, in his cute Indian accent, “You were ROCKIN’ it out there Miss Taunya, not like a girl at all!”

So, at the end of the day here’s my advice. Dune bashing, don’t ask how much it’ll cost, how hot it’ll be, or how long the drive is, just sign up and do it. It’ll be your best day!

Note: If you’re so inclined, I highly recommend the guys at Desert Rangers for all your adventure needs. http://www.chooseyourevent.com/profile.asp?cid=1029

Get your kicks on Route 66

No matter where you go, there you are. -- Deep huh? Yeah, deep like Jack Handy.

Speaking of Deep Thoughts...I had a funny realization driving to work today. I was driving on Route 66...OMG! I know that "technically" the Route 66 highway used to run across the US, going from Chicago to LA, but there I was...and I have pictures, so you can't argue.

Like I've said before, driving a car here in Dubai is a mixture between Formula 1 racing and Bumper Cars. Signals are considered a sign of weakness and people driving the speed limit are newbies. This is problematic because our hamster powered Mazda rental car comes with a "feature" to let us know we are exceeding the 120 km (80 mph) speed limit - it's a little alarm that sounds a lot like that heart monitor sound you always hear on TV shows.

Beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.

In the spirit of "making our own fun," my coworkers and I have invented a game. It is now our sole mission in life to see how long we can make the car/heart monitor go off on our 30 minute ride to work...or anywhere really. The current record holder is the Italian Stallion with 12 minutes and when the beeping finally stopped, it felt like we might all be having a collective heart attack.

"We've lost the pulse, prep the paddles...CLEAR!"

So there it is folks, in the land of turn left to go right, no maps, parking by braille, and driving the "Dubai Way" -- you bet we've all been getting our kicks on Route 66!

Yes Virgina, there is a Harley Claus

Granted...it took me a couple weeks longer to find the Harley store than to find Ski Dubai, but I don't RIDE a Harley, so yer lucky I got there at all...so there...neener, neener.

Historical Note: Harley- Davidson of U.A.E was established in 1989 in a small hangar at Abu Dhabi International Airport. The company has grown tremendously in the past 11 years to become the leading Harley-Davidson dealership in the Middle East, with two locations in the U.A.E. One of the largest exclusive Harley-Davidson stores outside of the United States is located on Sheikh Zayed Road in Dubai. (That's where I went.) It offers a full line of motorcycles, spare parts, accessories and high quality lines of Harley-Davidson clothing.

As those of us in the motorcycle community fondly say, "H-D doesn't stand for Harley-Davidson, it stands for Hundred Dollars!" I'm here to tell you the joke still stands here in the UAE. I just dropped 600 Dirhams in that stinkin' place... and let's review... I DON'T RIDE A HARLEY!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Ah...but a lucky few will have a fine gift coming to them when I get home. Hmmm...who should it be??? Operators are standing by to take your bribes, begs, and pleas.

Couldn't wait for the Foursome

Ski Dubai is MINE!

For those who know me, it's understood what a hurculean feat I accomplished by not knocking over every person in my path from the airport straight to the indoor ski slopes. Instead I managed to make it FOUR WHOLE DAYS before I stopped "waiting for the foursome."

You see I'm working with a group...a group of guys who are not from the US, which means that Futbol, a.k.a. Soccer, is a religion and the Euro Cup tournament is happening right now. More importantly, the match between Italy and France for who gets to advance to the next tourney level was last night. Who do you root for Taunya? Um, yeah...about that...whatever makes you happy Luigi. So, I chose to stay at the hotel last night as they happily trooped off to the bar to watch the game.

Normally we all operate under the rules of the Kindergarten buddy system. Hold hands, look both ways, don't take candy from strangers and don't go to strange places alone. As I walked into my room I saw my boarding gear and thought to myself, "What the hell are you doing here?!" Having no good answer, I put on my layers, grabbed my gear bag and hailed a cab to the mall.

Shall I discuss the looks that a single white girl gets when she walks through an Arab country's largest mall, dressed in workout clothes plus hoodie and carrying snow gear? I think we all get the picture. There were looks, there were eyebrows, there were side glances at friends. I didn't care...I was on a MISSION to check something off my life list!

Was Ski Dubai all I thought it would be? YUP! Unlike most things you build up in your head that turn out to be disappointing, the UAE is good...REALLY good at building "big." Think Texas on steroids with 100 times the money to throw at any problem or challenge. Of the 5 runs, 2 were legitimate runs for a good skier/boarder. There's a 3 minute ride to the top, and about 45 seconds to a minute down.

All in all...I was boarding for 2 hours, did 24 runs with jumps, there was NO (do you hear that Colorado?!) lift line, and I was the only one on my chairlift seat almost everytime. Oh, and for the first time in almost a week I wasn't hot.

Pure snow bliss.

Dubai - an architect's dream

I found a website today that I think will help everybody see just how much Dubai has grown since 1990, when the UAE stopped focusing on oil income for their country and started their march toward Total Tourist Domination! There is no doubt in my mind why every architect I've talked to says that Dubai is THE city to build in.

Check it out! http://www.dubai-architecture.info/DUB-GAL1.htm